Anybody who says that the time right after a breakup is easy is lying to you…its a trapfilled whirlwind of emotional chaos and it sucks no matter who you are. There are so many questions about where you should go from here, it makes your head spin. One of the first questions you probably think of is what to say to get him back…and the surprising answer is simple: NOTHING!
Right after a big flaming breakup, a lot of emotions are flying around and it can be easy for either of you to say the wrong things and really hurt each others feelings, causing irreparable damage to the relationship. If you can avoid this, you will wind up finding the road to a reunion a lot easier than if you had fallen into this trap.
Experts in the field of post-breakup relationship recovery will often tell you to give your ex a cooling off period during which you dont contact or speak to each other at all…but they rarely tell you exactly how long to keep this up. I advise about a months time, it comes to just about the right timespan that things will have cooled off and communication will become a little easier.
It is absolutely crucial, however, that you stick to this rule with no straying! A lot of people fall into one of the two following mistakes and break the No Contact rule, making it all the harder to regain the respect and affection of your ex:
1. Drunk Dialing. If you expect to never feel lonely, start expecting it. Your ex being gone leaves a big hole, and a lot of peope choose to try to fill that hole with alcohol. It can help take the edge off, but I dont advise you drink your problems away, or one particularly lonely night you just may find your judgement failing you, and you make a phone call you know you shouldnt.
2. Text Message Terrorism. Immediately after a breakup, most of us go into Panic Mode and start doing everything we can to try to stop our exes at the door and keep them from leaving…so we resort to a virtual attack through our cell phones or email. Sending message after message, making call after call, all we end up doing is driving the loves of our lives crazy and forcing them to avoid us as much as possible.
Its important to fight against these mistakes, as slipping could cost you a lot…too much to risk. If you can keep a good hold of yourself, you will be far more prepared for when you start talking again, and have a much better chance of getting him back.
Through all this, the top value of this breaktime isnt damage control, its the breathing room you have to plan your next move…in fact, plan all your next moves Having an underlying strategy or technique to use makes your life exponentially easier, and best of all is if you can find a proven-effective process from another resource.
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