The break up was painful, and the time apart is excruciating. You think about that man night and day, usually while either sobbing or stomping around angry. Friends have tried to set you up with new men, but not a one of them can hold a candle to your ex and you know he is the only one for you. You have made the decision that you will get back with your ex, no matter what it takes, and give the relationship one last shot. But you need some help to get back with your ex and some moral support from your friends.
Remember that during the break up and afterwards you most likely said some things you regret. Your friends probably agreed with you or even added fuel to the fire, either way plenty of harsh words have been said. Before you try to get your ex back it is probably a good idea to let your friends know what your intentions are. Let your friends know how much their support meant to you during that horrible time in your life and that you were very angry and said some things you didn’t mean but that he really is the only man for you and their continued support is really needed.
Because they are your friends and they love you, they will do anything that they possibly can to help you get your ex back. Wrong! At least not in the beginning. They will probably throw a fit and tell you that you are crazy. Just remember that they will do this because they are your friend and don’t want to see you have to go through that ordeal again. However after they calm down, they will come around to your view point and give you the support that is much needed by you.
Next, consider the realistic side of things. Do you want to get back with your ex because you still love and miss him, or is it simply because you do not want to be alone? Are you running back to him because you are scared of the unknown? Did one or two bad dates sour you from men in general? Be honest with yourself and do not allow your loneliness or fear gloss over the reasons for the break up.
His bad behaviors did not magically clear up when you broke up, so consider everything before moving ahead. If you broke up in the heat of an argument, that is one thing, but if you simply could not tolerate a nasty habit or another, then you are probably bound to repeat the same, sad cycle.
Do you know if your ex is still single? If the break up was because of infidelity, trying to get him back from the woman he left you for is sad, pathetic and fodder for countless country songs. The old saying “you lose a man the same way you got him” is repeated so often because it is painfully true. If you started a relationship with a man who is supposed to be committed, do you honestly think he will not eventually cheat on you too? If he is not single, then sit yourself down and ask: am I looking for love or revenge?
If he is still unattached, and you still want to pursue him, realize that nothing has inherently changed. He is still the same man, you are still the same woman. The problems with the relationship did not vanish. If you are not willing to talk about your issues, then you are not ready to try to work things out. Clear the air, list your grievances and see if compromises can be reached.
If you can compromise then take it one step at a time, very slowly. Act as if he is someone new and relearn about him an what made you fall in love in the first place. This time around you will be more aware of the things that you don’t particularity love. Be sure to talk about them before they start to get bigger. Try not to get caught up in the rush of familiarity, and like always, make sure you think with your head as opposed to your heart.
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