Magic Of Making Up
 

If You Want To Save Your Marriage It’s Up To You

The divorce rate seems to be getting higher and higher. Marriages are breaking down for a myriad of reasons, and for one reason or another, one or both partners in the relationship is not willing to have counseling. This may be the result of many years seeing the marriage disintegrate, or the decision has already been made to end it, rather than trying to “save my marriage.”

Before you were married, you must have fallen in love with your spouse. So now you have to ask yourself, “what went wrong?” What is it that is now pushing you apart? No-one wants to head to the divorce courts if there’s any chance of saving what you had. To arrive at a solution you and your partner must be willing to work at it. If you both agree, then counseling may be the best option.

Action can be difficult to take when you’re hurting, but you must muster the strength to actually do something to save your marriage, even when things look bleak. Learning to live together without problems is a myth.

You may try to tell your spouse not to be so pessimistic about your marriage and commit to working things out, however, you’ve probably noticed that the more you try the more you fail to convince them. You need to stop lecturing, pleading and pressuring. Take the pressure off both you and your spouse by stepping back a bit.

There are other ways to get through to your spouse. You cannot work on a marriage relationship until you work on the basic friendship. You can’t have one without the other. Try to list 10 things that you both have in common to start reviving your friendship. The main reason most marriages survive is that the couple find more things to agree on than disagree. You need to both work on your goals, plans and dreams for the future together, so that you both have a vision for the future.

When you first got married, you entered into a contract to commit to each other for life. What happened? Did you tear up the contract? Don’t abandon the commitment to each other on a whim. Tell yourself, “I’ll do everything I can to save my marriage.” Don’t throw away a lifetime of memories without at least trying to save it.

If you’ve tried counseling and it doesn’t help, then at least you have the satisfaction of knowing that you tried. At least try to save the friendship especially if there are children involved.

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